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rows

by bitter grasses

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1.
in the tall trees, evergreen towering above my car bitter leaves in my mouth bitter water pouring down in the bright green eyes of spring dust and blossoms on everything early light on the bed bitter coffee outstretched and the soft flowers in my throat parting clouds in my blood mockingbird on the edge of the land bitter things brought me here bittersweet growing bittersweet trying bittersweet sunlight touching what i'll leave behind little leaf in my hand standing young in the breath of time in the tall trees behind us warm shadows cradle the light
2.
Ink 06:05
I told myself again, all I need is to sing the truth, say what it is all my words belong to the wind and like the wind are passing I gave my faith to days of total mystery Still I'm holding out for some kind of clarity but this is where the road has led, this is where the ink has bled In the rain of my trying In the rain of living you asked me if I'd go on one last walk down to the sound where we had apples by the docks but I said no, that sounds too sad never ready for goodbye like that but the leaves still had to fall again and now I can't call you a friend what do you need when the day is done no, you're not the only one I crash and cry over myself like a wave, like a glass off the high shelf hold your breath and go under take my hand and go through so you're not the only one what do you need the day is done just to hear the morning dove just to see the moon above if she'll be around tonight
3.
rows 03:44
broken one, walking through the headstones reading the graves beneath the glistening crows they call between the trees up high i crouch down beside the half frozen pond sad soft lungs covered in leaves cold red water steeping old tea cloves of grief buried in the rows underneath the dust of snow crescent suns cutting at the shadows empty moon mirroring the fallows oats and coffee warming on the stove to keep my body here while the rest of me goes the past bled out under the white sky and the snow silent telephone wires who will sing the memory? who will touch the leaves while I'm asleep
4.
song for sa 03:45
sarah, rough and tumble, into your soft grass eyes i stumble inside the tent, hear the storm clouds rumble, passing in the northwest skies honey, clouds in your hair tangle and bramble and petals where i lay my head - an abyss, a feather-bed sarah, crumbs in the bed a shoe or two and the things we said i like to count the little things orange curtain and the rings of time oh now, choosing the blues choosing surrender, choosing to choose the road goes on for miles but i wanted to stay a while sarah, mystery unfolding all the things our hearts are holding i wanna wake in the blue dawn, naked as the truth
5.
green apple 03:11
green apple, you have a bruise green apple, i twist your stem when i was young, my knees on your skin so green and real rose, i sat on the shore faith, i need you more than all the vines need their wooden posts and all these thoughts just strangle my heart will we have time for all that we need they're saying a child will be lucky to grow as old as me part the tall summer grass with your hands and where you lay leave the shape of your sleep dark moon high above the house while the full moon glows in my dream in the early hours, freckles on your skin so stark and real
6.
yarrow 04:26
now you're too tired to sit up and write you wore yourself out and now it's night i saw you by the side of the road you took a flower and you said an ode on the body of a road kill wet red where the blood spilled and your tears made a world where i could live and your hands were cold with the mud of roots pulled from the dark searching for so long now for medicine of the heart, here as the calling birds that cut through the dead worlds left behind by the harrow a long stem of pink yarrow
7.
paper moon 04:03
you just left feels like you're gone childhood in your eyes palms and blue sky i just wanted you to cry want you to tell me we'll die one day don't lie paper mirror, paper moon we say we'll see each other soon but i don't want to see you not with my eyes i just want to feel you through the mystery of time and change i would make you a hot salt bath and take you to the meadow grass where you wouldn't need to hide anymore and you could know that you've died before and come back again cause everything goes through the door letting go the deepest core childhood in your eyes the burning page goes back to the sky alive
8.
salton sea 06:35
the curve of the earth holds the roots of the bush and the arms of the bush hold the curve of my back and the curve of my back holds the tusks of the ribs and the ribs hold the heart and the heart brought you here with me a thousand miles south to the salton sea and sees you play in the flight and song of the desert birds so i think of the swallows on the oklahoma quarter and the kid who played in the humid night strange i brought all this here with me to a land that asks me to let go let go of the stories that keep me apart from the rest of the dust and the wind toady i am this young form crouched beside the creosote bush borrowing my breath from the sky tulsa birds don't fly so far, where you are is where you are
9.
to the spout 03:08
one weed growing up to the spout the stone of my ring fell out wind pushin hard in the october sun and the birds alight as one i listened to the microphones and worked on the greenhouse alone searched the ground for the moonstone and i cried when it was gone now only, the rose/rows and the sweet traces of memory maybe i'm afraid to reach maybe i'm split in two the heartbeat of a sleeping bear a flower yet unbloomed hiding in the dark playing the part oh but once my heart did alight as one
10.
rogue river 03:47
river, river you know my child name i was full of sadness i was full of pain but when i'm close to myself again i know by how i'm also close to the sun i know by how i'm also close to the rain and i am also close to the river fishing weights and throwing stones floating logs and leaves river why do some things on you float while others sink? river sometimes we are busy carrying all the rain the heavy cold rain and the melting snow river, river what's it like to be full? river i see this morning you're busy carrying all the rain

about

This is an attempt at recording my first songs, written roughly between 2017 and 2021. They span much space and time, from the deep wet woods of olympia washington, to the barns and fields of new england, from oregon rivers to the sonoran desert.

These songs were recorded to 4 track cassette at the barn house in matunuck, rhode island, thanks to the warm generosity of my aunt and uncle who shared the space.

Having no experience recording or mixing, I learned as I went from start to finish and although I have wished I could express these songs with more ease and grace, my main goal was to finally put these in a form that could be shared and open up time for new songs and poems.

Recording began with practice in May 2022 and ended with these takes in the fall and winter of 2022/3. Paper moon and rogue river were recorded in my apartment in providence.

credits

released May 18, 2023

Thank you to everyone who helped me see this through; family, friends, loves, farmers, you know who you are and hopefully how deeply meaningful your belief and support of all kinds has been to me.

Thank you so much Dan and Susan for the familiar and peaceful place to record.

Thank you c + s for holding me up through my doubt and frustrations, and ma and pa for your love and encouragement to follow dreams and music.

songs written played, recorded, mixed by Lizzie
cover photo thanks to Sarah Hopp, to whom I am also grateful for sharing belief in this world of music, hearing and holding these songs when they were just pieces and seeds

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bitter grasses Providence, Rhode Island

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